yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
