Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
