Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
