Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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