I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
sex in a hospital.. check
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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