Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
