How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
