I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
