Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
