bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I need a beard to bite.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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