It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Bring me that man meat
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
