Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
