There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
