Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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