so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
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I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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