Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
