I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
