p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
