Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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