DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize