At least make sure they are 18
Why
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You need Xanax blowdarts
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
