The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
