she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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