dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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