Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
