I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize