it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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