Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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