marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
