We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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