I like my sex mixed with concussions.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
