I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It was confusing and full of hummus
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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