4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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