o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He has the fingertips of a God
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
