Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
