You smell like stripper and shame
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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