you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
