trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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