You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
