yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
