Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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