I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize