Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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