sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
