and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
