dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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