i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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