new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Randomize
