Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
