I don't think brook has ever known best
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
