we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
