Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
