Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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