I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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