Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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