Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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