ugly people sure do ruin things
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
