C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
