so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
