Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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