Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
