i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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