I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
