you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
