omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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