I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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