she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize